Roundup

-I consciously avoided devoting space in my In Rainbows article to discussion over whether certain songs from the bonus disc could or could not have been a good fit on the main disc. I felt like that was an obvious thing to talk about, and I would've felt boring doing so, but privately I've been fiddling with the tracklist to see whether I could make a better, stronger album out of In Rainbows by swapping in and out songs from the bonus disc while still preserving the original essence of the album. I think the first half of In Rainbows is nearly perfect, so I'm not tinkering with that. Even though I'm not ga-ga over "Nude," I think it's essential to the sensual aesthetic of the album. All I've done so far is replace "Reckoner" with "Down is the New Up" and "Videotape" with "4-Minute Warning." Results so far are pending because I'll have to re-listen to the album after the changes.

This then got me thinking: what if an artist released an album that was not an album, i.e. an album's-worth collection of songs with no order to them. Each individual listener would then decide for themselves what they believed should be the running order and arrange the tracks accordingly. The 'album' would have to be released digitally, of course, preferably from a website where the tracks could be downloaded in a fashion that doesn't showcase them in some particular order (so the listener wouldn't be tempted to try to guess what the band's 'intended' tracklist was). Maybe the band could outline some rules, like if there were 14 tracks total, the listener could pick at least 10 to be in their running order and up to 4 B-sides. Is this whole scheme gimmicky or would it give artistic legitimacy to a past-time that music fans already experiment with? Until Brian Wilson's Smile was released, Beach Boys fans were practically forced to create their own individual Smile mix-tapes out of abandoned demos. I once made a playlist called "Kid Amnesiac" that culled the best of each of those albums into one monster collection. I guess if Radiohead really wanted to blow up the music industry a second time, this could be their next move.

-Yay, I won the Super Bowl in Madden in All-Pro difficulty. I went into an absolute zone during the playoffs (I think I only threw one interception total in those four games), and I even had to go through the Colts. I figured out how to get to Peyton Manning, and it might've been a little unfair, but it's really annoying to wait for him to audible 3-4 times on each snap. I just kept audibling my defense every time Manning audibled, so I was basically switching my coverage scheme every time he recognized it (which I think is cheating on his part!). Eventually, the play clock would run down and Manning would have to snap the ball with whatever coverage I had decided, and it ended up being less than ideal for him. We traded scores through three quarters, until I realized that he loved to throw to Reggie Wayne, so I started overloading coverage on him (usually with an OLB going into a drop-zone on his size of the field). It worked! I got a game-icing interception with my linebacker who was covering Wayne in a drop-zone, and I advanced to the Super Bowl against the Falcons.

The Falcons had Michael Vick (heheh) which Madden made into some six-million dollar man super-god. He threw 3 TD passes of 50 or more yards, which was really frustrating because my defense was really putting up good stands while the Falcons were stuck deep into their own territory. Then - bam! - my secondary would get absolutely burned for no reason. I was down by 14 at one point in the first half, and I went into halftime down by 11. But they forgot about one thing: they forgot about Tom Brady. I tied the game in the second half (including a 2-point conversion) to force overtime. Overtime is not my friend in Madden because I always lose the coin toss and the opposing team returns the opening kickoff to the 30, meaning they only have to drive 40 yards to kick the winning field goal. Well that happened in this game too, but the Falcons... missed the Super Bowl-winning field goal! I gained possession, handed the ball to Laurence Maroney on the first snap, and he immediately ran 60 yards down the sideline to win the championship game in overtime with a touchdown. Wheeee!

The offseason is actually my favorite part of Madden. I think it's because you can manipulate the makeup of your team by measuring player attributes like it's an RPG. Training camp actually allows you to increase those attribute points with fun drills. Pulling off a good trade is really satisfying too. I was able to re-sign all my key players from the previous season this time, so I had virtually no holes in my roster to fill, so I had the luxury of trying to go for that superstar player in the draft. I traded away Corey Dillon (who I was going to cut anyways because he was too expensive and worse than Laurence Maroney) and my 2nd round draft pick for a higher 2nd round draft pick. I then traded that high 2nd round pick and my 1st round pick for a higher 1st round pick. I then traded that higher 1st round pick and my 3rd round pick for the 4th overall pick in the draft! I used it to sign a superstar WR who is a perfect kick returner (99 points). The only downside is that now I don't have much use for Wes Welker, who I love in real life and traded for in the game. He was a very integral part of my Super Bowl run with his kick returns, but he's just not as good as this new hot-shot rookie I have. I think I'll keep him out of loyalty, but his morale points might drop from being usurped.

-Some dipshit entered the elevator on the 3rd floor and exited on the 4th while talking on his bluetooth headset. I gave the back of his head the stink-eye, and when he left, the maintenance worker who was in the elevator with me seemed to agree. "Guess he was in a hurry," he mused in a New England accent. Unless you are disabled or have a heavy load, you do not take the elevator up one floor, you hear? The only thing worse is taking the elevator down one floor. I've never witnessed it before, but it's so ridiculous in concept that you could make it the basis for a Candid Camera episode.

-The cat-who-must-not-be-named now also likes sleeping in my bed, but I think it's only because it likes sleeping next to Banjo. It's nice that the cat likes my bed, but it's also a nuisance since it sheds 10x more than Banjo and doesn't like being disturbed while sleeping. So if I'm sleeping in my own bed and I switch positions and jostle the cat, it will then wake up and run to my bedroom door which I then have to get up and open. With Banjo, I don't have this problem because he's like a rag doll when he's sleepy and unflappably inert. He's the ideal bedtime buddy.