Weight issues

The Simpsons high school flashback:
Barney: "You eat so much and never gain weight. How do you do it, Homer?"
Homer: "Must be my metabamolism."

We all know where Homer is now, but I'd always thought myself invincible with regards to staying thin. It turned out that my baccanallean lifestyle finally caught up to me a month ago when I weighed myself and found I'd gained 15 pounds. I'd just thought all my clothes had been shrinking in the wash, but this new weight is as real as the second ticket I have to buy when I take my seat(s) on an airplane. Luckily, I have enough mental fortitude to adapt to the necessary lifestyle change to get back down to my natural weight. These are the immediate steps I've taken so far:

1. Only one bowl of ice cream after dinner, if any.
2. I only eat until I'm stuffed, not beyond stuffed.
3. 25 pushups and 25 situps in the morning and at night. The endorphin rush afterwards alone makes it worth it.
4. No more elevator rides. I walk up 5 flights each morning to work.
5. No more napping. I need to keep burning calories.
6. Only one reuben sandwich per week from the cafeteria at work. I gotta pay tribute to my main man Dr. House, but not at the expense of my health.
7. Using more emphatic arm motions with my Wii remote when playing Madden.

Hey and guess what, none of this stuff has done jack shit. I've gotten used to considering myself a little guy, but who am I fooling anymore. Just look at me. LOOK AT ME.